Anxiety

I am grateful that my husband is different then me.

I am an anxious person, this is something
that in and of itself incites anxiety in me.
That is the general nature of anxiety, the fact
that you feel anxious is in and of itself anxiety
provoking. It can be a viscous cycle if you let
it over take you. I mean that literally, at a
certain point it feels like you have no control
over the anxiety, that it just comes in waves
paralyzing its recipient.

IF I LET it overtake me it will is the main
point of this all. I mainly experience anxiety
when I don't know the outcome of something
or I don't know how its going to go or my role
in it. I know that I do not like "not knowing"
I've always said that is the worst part and I
stand by that. I come from the stand point
that if I know then I can handle whatever it is

Its also about control, my NEED to know is my
way of controlling the outcome.

Interesting enough this worked decently when
I was single, however the need to know and control
does not work quite as well when two are becoming
one or trying to become one. My love does not have
this same need to know or control and for this I am
grateful. We are both independent and know how
we like doing things and how things "should" be done
according to each one of our exacting standards.

Luckily my husband is very understanding and kind,
he is capable of gently reminding me in a way that I can
hear that I'm trying to control something or that I'm
becoming unnecessarily anxious.